The Last Are First

My word of testimony today is Matt 20 :12 Saying, These last have wrought [but] one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat of the day.

As the word of my testimony reveals an impartial God , I am becoming more and more appreciative of that characteristic. The more I try to relate correctly to people I see that He has all along been trying to show me the Way to do this. As I try to love with a love like His , I see it will not be mixed with what I want to keep in my flesh. If I want to love like He loves, I have to want to give up all my old ways of coping with life's problems. "All my" two little short words that represent a tip of an ice berg. "Want to " two more short words that I can assuredly say, "He will help me want to."

Fortunately for me , I want to follow the Spirit. So when I recognize that I am not following the Spirit I back up and start again. This backing up feels uncomfortable but I have learned I only have to back up as far as the point that I left off following the Spirit. Then I can go forward again. I can sometimes see hindrances to my following the Spirit and ask the Holy Spirit to help bring my thoughts captive and to the obedience of Christ. However, sometimes I do not wait.

You know , like I feel so proud of myself that I caught that trap before I fell into it , but then I walk right into it. Really reminds me of this scripture Romans 12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think [of himself] more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

The trap that the enemy had laid was a belief system that those who love me , depend on me.
I think the enemy likes it when I believe that about God. If I believe God is depending on me I then feel "important." Problem is , that is not the way God loves. His love can not be based on a "depend on " basis or it would not be the perfect unconditional love that it is. If I want others to be able to love me with a pure love , I can not force them to love me only if I am dependable. I have to let them love me, if they want to , with an unconditional love, they can still love me even if I mess up.

I was thinking about being obedient to God this morning when I saw with a new light how important my motivation for obedience was to God.

My reasoning for being obedient at one time was this idea that God knows what would be best for me. I guess I kind of thought God believed in karma. That if I did right , good would come around for me , so I should trust God to be my karma guide. That idea of course became over thrown when I really understood "grace."

Next my idea for obeying God has been based on a "He is depending upon me " kind of motivation. I saw that He was expecting me to bare fruit , so I guess I thought He was "depending on " that fruit to come forth. Now I see , that is not it either. He has been showing me in His word that all that He has is mine, but like the elder brother in the story of the prodigal son, I just hadn't seen it. Now He is showing me that it is not just for those who work diligently , or long , or without complaining . It is for those who are His sons. That is all, when they become sons doesn't have a bearing on how much they can have done. It is all His to give and it is all that He has, that He wants to give . He is not giving it on any wage scale or time table .

I come to Him and I say, "I'm Your son." He says, "I know , all that I have is yours."