It's Okay Where I'm At, Let Me Tell You My Plans

My word of testimony today is about the way God is showing me His answer to a question I have.
The question was about Life Coaching. Should I learn to be a life coach ?
Perhaps you know what Life Coaching is , so I will just share what I feel would be relevant to my word of testimony.

For me to live for the glory of God means to use the gifts He has given me.

Short and simple as it sounds for me it has been like digging up a hundred pound ball and then rolling it around. Oh , I thought of a good analogy , when I go bowling I always look for the ball that will slide easily off my hand at time of release and light enough that my arm won't hurt. Living for God's glory has seemed like He's asked me to bowl with too heavy a ball.

If you read my posts you know that God has been teaching me how to depend on His strength. This is vital to any thing I do for His glory. I just picture the stuff I do in my own strength as hay, wood and stubble that burns up easily and does not give Him glory.

So should I learn Life Coaching ?

My gift of being an encouragement and giving edification to the body of Christ has mostly been centered on finding the prodigal son who has left the pig sty, came back to the father , received the bath, clean robe and ring. He's heard the invitation from his father come in I've prepared a big banquet to celebrate your return. In my story the elder brother gets a chance to tell him what he thinks about his going in and celebrating the banquet . In my story that I try to share with others is that Jesus is also there saying , "Yes, go in and enjoy the banquet. "

My life has been pig sty dirty , but the father's love has drawn me home. For an awful time I became like the elder brother and insisted on earning what the father wanted to give me. I guess that is why I have compassion on the elder brothers that I see today. I know in their hearts they do not want to be like that. If only someone could help them accept that they too are loved by the father and at any moment they can exchange their self righteous garments for the real thing. All it takes is believing that it is okay , right where they are.

Just like the father heard the prodigal son's plans , he'd like to know the plans of the elder brother. More importantly he wants us to know our plans . I think that is why it is written , that they overcame by the blood of the lamb , by the word of their testimony and they loved not their lives even unto death.

I think life coaching skills might fit into what my father would have me to do .
Just like every other thing I do , it would only glorify Him if I was able to lean into the Holy Spirit and do it in His strength, not my own.

1 Th 5:8 But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation.

Faith , Hope and Love

I think it was Elisha that lamented I am no better than my fathers.
I have come pretty close to lamenting that I am no better than those Corinthians.

Joyfully I report that my situation has taken a turn for the better.

I gladly report my word of testimony today with a clearer view of where I am going.

Just saying that I will not be like the Levite or Pharisee who passed by the beaten up Samaritan lying beside the road, doesn't get it with me anymore.

No I am not going to go out to the highways and the byways. There are plenty of beaten up Samaritans right in my church. They are there and they are hurting and for whatever reason this is how it is for them, Jesus has what they need .

I have been ignoring them long enough. My only excuse for such blatant anti- Christianity is that I was like the Corinthians. (Only I have not been comfortable being like a Corinthian. )
I have been struggling for weeks hoping some insight would come to set me free from my bondage of Corinthian like living.

What is going to set me free is "faith" "hope" and "love."

Romans 5:1- 5 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

I want to live (by faith in) the blood of the lamb.
I want to speak a word of testimony that declares that I rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.
I want to live like someone who has the love of God poured out in her heart by the Holy Spirit.

Oh, but what a weak vessel I am to do such a big job. I have just a little strength , maybe the least one in the whole kingdom of God.

I broke down this past Sunday because someone forgot all about me. I'd committed to pray until the baby was born but no one called . I was praying along at a good pace until 12:45 a.m. and then the minutes began to drag by. So I opened my Bible and decided to pray verses out of the Bible for the mother and the baby . Soon about 1:30 a.m. I decided to pray one last prayer, "Father wake me up if You need me to pray."

When I found out the next day that the baby was born at 12:45 a.m. was my first thought how gracious God was to let me know in the Spirit that it was okay to go to sleep when I did?
No, that is not the first thought. The first thought was these people do not love me. They forgot about me .

Then I thought about how tired they all must of been and just ready to go to bed themselves. Still I felt hurt. The hurt began to go away though as stories came about how difficult a night it had been for everyone.
As I prayed that the Holy Spirit would help me bring my thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ , this thought came into my head. Those foolish Corinthians wouldn't believe that Paul loved them, do I want to be like them?

The answer was "no". So I need to believe that I am loved , and certainly I had proof that I was loved by Christ Jesus as the Spirit had stopped leading me to pray about the time the baby was born.

Later I remembered how many things I had said I would do for one member of the team and had forgotten to do them. Why do I have a backwards memory ? Now I remember vividly telling her about a website link that I knew of that would be helpful for her daughters homework. And there was the time I'd video taped her daughter doing something at a church event and I was going to make a copy for her.

I can open my heart up and believe that God loves me. I can believe that His people are doing as good as they can to let the love that has been poured in their hearts , pour out on me. I can pray everyday that this love I have opened my heart to accept would somehow pour itself out on them. I can stop ignoring them.

Delighted in the LORD !

Remember when I posted about wanting the Holy Spirit to empower me to be thankful ? This concept of allowing the Holy Spirit to do even those things I thought I could do without Him has really taken a hold of me.
Probably because my JOY METER was really running low and then when I started letting the Holy Spirit help me be thankful , the Joy of the LORD started returning full force.

I am so thankful to be me.
Have you ever seen a crazy , ugly , weird shaped jigsaw puzzle ? One of those irregular sided ones , and two sides , and just an ugly picture ? Yet what you see on the box looks interesting, maybe even delightful , so if you are a real jigsaw puzzle buff , you go at it.

My last post may have sounded like I think I am an ugly me with a very unpleasant past . I want you to know though I am anything but ugly to God.
The experiences that I have are for His glory ! If one wrong look from a friend can help me become convicted so that I surrender my prejudice and lack of faith for others , I say ,"Praise the LORD."

My God is so creative He can take the most unpleasant circumstance and use it for His Glory !
Not just once but a thousand times, a million times , after all He is God !

Suffering Reproach and Shame

I have a friend who overcame the sin of gluttony several years ago.
With the absence of that sin running rampant in her life she consequently lost a lot of weight.
I say consequently because sometimes the consequence of doing right is not pleasant.
Consequently she has never looked like the friend that I remember .
Consequently every time I see her I try to remember the way she use to look.
Consequently I have been trying to remember her when she sinned.
Consequently every time that months have lapsed between our visits I anticipate a set back, looking to see if she's gained some weight back.
Consequently I have been helping her suffer reproach and shame.
Consequently I have to admit it seems like a human thing to do.
Consequently I have to seek God for a more divine like love , because I see mine is stinking again.

Not to long ago I caught a look on another friend's face that told me she still remembered when I sinned. I was very hurt because I read into that look that she thought I might still be capable of doing that kind of sin again.
I thought to myself ,"she will never trust me. How can we be friends ?" At first I thought she really was not trusting Jesus , believing that He had done a work of healing in me. But the Holy Spirit showed me that may not be true.

Whenever a sin has lasted long enough in a person's life to become a stronghold it may take a while to see it destroyed. There is always that possibility that the enemy might come back around with temptation to see if he can build it up again.
Just like the initial beginnings of the coming down of that stronghold , I need to stand ready to fight a fight of faith as God's word directs me.
Well, spiritual warfare is a choice. You can do it or you can not. The scriptures encourage us to stay involved with the warfare that Christ Jesus has given us the victory over. Giving my word of testimony everyday is an evidence that I believe this is not a sit down , do nothing kind of walk with God.

But she doesn't know that about me. She doesn't know that I find great joy in participating in the victories that Jesus has won for me. And she doesn't know that I am not about to just stand around and let the enemy rebuild a stronghold that took so long to see come down.

I was feeling let down because her look did not indicate that she would be ready to help me fight temptation again. Her look said, "You better not let that stronghold get built up in your life again, or I won't have anything to do with you."

So I am planning on talking with her about that. I am planning on sharing with her how it was that the love of God shown through just a few individuals is how my stronghold got destroyed in the first place. It took a few women doing something very hard for them to do in their own strength and I know they must have surely sought the LORD to be able to express an act of love to me when this stronghold was so strong it seemed I had no control over it's force.

When I looked back and remembered what I had done , I struggled to believe that God could love me then. However, that was exactly what I needed to do , was struggle to believe and eventually I did believe and accepted that Christ died for me while I was yet a sinner . Their response to my sin helped very much, although neither of them know today what an effect it had on my life.

When I was talking to the LORD about how bad it feels to have people remember what you have done , I was reminded of Mary called Magdalene. She had to carry her past around with her too.

Luke 8:2 And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils,

She did not let what people said or thought about her past , stop her from following Jesus.

I was also convicted of putting a label like that on my friend , only in a bad way. If I can't forget what she looked like when she was heavy , maybe I can train myself to glorify God and thank Him for the victory He gave her over the stronghold of gluttony.

It has occurred to me the same might have been done to glorify God in Magdalene's case , and she bore the reproach knowing that He was being glorified for what He did for her.

I Missed The Sign !

This might seem like a strange testimony .For me to know that there was a sign could count as remarkable.
Jesus said He was glad that the truth was revealed unto babes instead of the wise and prudent. I have to agree with Him, I want to agree with Him.
My hope tonight is that not following a sign , will not matter much to the over all plan of God.

A while back I blogged about how signs follow those who are being led by the Spirit. I was trying to prepare myself for the unusual.

So now that I am being led by the Spirit , things have started happening. I know for a non Christian this whole topic must sound crazy. If I dare project what they might be saying, " Okay, the signs follow but now you are concerned because you missed a sign , that was to aid you to go the right direction ?" Well, yes.

For the Christian knows all to well that the kingdom of God is a backward , completely opposite kind of journey from what the world would think make sense.

When people steal from you , (in the kingdom) you run them down , and like if they had taken your coat , you offer them your cloak.

In the kingdom when people speak ill of you and despite fully use you , you pray for them, that is you ask for good things to happen to them.

I guess you are getting the idea , so the signs that follow when one is being led by the Spirit , they kind of confirm and point at the same time, go this way. And I just did not think fast enough to follow through.

Well, tomorrow is another day. I will once again remember that I have been empowered by the Holy Spirit to choose to not sin and follow the Spirit where ever He leads me.

Oh, I was being led to give a word of testimony actually but blundered and missed a great opportunity , for a whole group of people , maybe five to twelve . Far more than read this blog.

The word of testimony was specific to that group and I am not being led to give it here.

Rather than just sluff off though I wanted to affirm , that when I ask the Spirit to allow me to know the will of my heavenly Father , the Spirit does respond to such requests.

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Give Thanks

Matt 11:25 At that time Jesus answered and said, I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes.

There is a real stigma to being a babe around the wise and prudent. Yet the wise and prudent have things hid from them, on purpose by the Father. If a babe was to point out something to the wise and prudent I doubt seriously that it would be an eye opener for the wise and prudent. No matter how many times you point something out to people unless it is a truth that the Father has revealed to them , they won't get it.

There does seem to be more success in sharing the truth if it has been revealed to my heart by the Holy Spirit.

That is why I want to truly believe some thing I do will be empowered by the Holy Spirit before I do it. If I know that I am just going to do to please, I think I might look real lame to God.

I think the way I move from A to Z is by following the word.

1 Tim 2:13 For this cause also thank we God without ceasing, because, when ye received the word of God which ye heard of us, ye received [it] not [as] the word of men, but as it is in truth, the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe.

Suffering

My word of testimony as always is a word of faith in God's word.
I read it ....I speak it .......I hear it..........I invite the Holy Spirit to give me a child like heart that will listen to Him as He helps me understand what it means and how to apply it to my life.

Sometimes the word of God is directly saying don't do like these people . Even while it is being written the words of the author expresses hope that "these people" will change from how they are doing. So I catch the Holy Spirit's teaching of how the change will happen.

Is it because someone says ,"don't do that," or because someone takes the time to help them understand how they came to do that in the first place. Giving them an idea of how to repent and go back and do this thing the right way.

My life is full of repentance. I am constantly going back and attempting to do things the right way.
The areas that I have the least repentance are the things that I have learned to let the Holy Spirit empower me to do.

Writing this word of testimony is a work of the Holy Spirit from the beginning to the end . May God be glorified as this soldier attempts daily to live under the blood of the Lamb and by the word of her testimony and love not my life even unto death.

Hebrews 5:8 Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;

I am encouraged today by the hope of being able to learn through the things I suffer .

As I look through God's word the Galatians were asked , "Have you suffered in vain?"
The Corinthians evidently could not grasp the purpose of suffering. They were all upset because they were suffering and they were blaming Paul. He spends who knows how many hours of trying to help them understand how to respond to their suffering so it will not be in vain.

I think history indicates they never did "get it."

I got , that I wasn't getting it either , a while back as the pastor of my church is teaching weekly from the book of 2 Corinthians. As helpful as it was to see "what" they were not getting, it felt a little like having a blind fold taken off my eyes and realizing that I too was dangerously close to a very steep cliff and a wrong step could throw me off into who knows what .

Now that I am beginning to understand that suffering always has a purpose , I not nearly as afraid as I was. I am learning and not nearly as afraid because what I am learning is that God's love is underneath and above , beside and all around me .

As I put my trust in Him I can be sure that He will help me understand , how to not let my suffering be in vain.

Unlike the Corithians I realize that Jesus did not come to give us a better life than He had.

He came to give us the same.