He Touched Me

Mark 5: 25-34 Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years, and had suffered many things from many physicians. She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment. For she said, “If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well.” Immediately the fountain of her blood was dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of the affliction. And Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that power had gone out of Him, turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched My clothes?” But His disciples said to Him, “You see the multitude thronging You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’” And He looked around to see her who had done this thing. But the woman, fearing and trembling, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth. And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.”

Four days now I have had the symptoms described in yesterday's word of testimony. Only today I feel much better than the last three days. During the night I was wrestling with my suspicion that my unforgiving problem might be hindering my healing.

During the day I had thought of all kinds of bad things I had done. I have learned that bringing my thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ is a necessary skill when walking in the Spirit .
Perhaps it is my most motivating factor for publicly sharing my word of testimony for the day.

As those thoughts came yesterday , I would say to myself , " I am forgiven." Then I thought about what my friend had said. Was she forgiven ? I knew in my heart she is forgiven. If Jesus hanging on the cross would say to the Father, "forgive them for they know not what they do, " then she was forgiven.

During the night I realized that my own judgement of myself for how I felt about what she had said, was the thing I needed to repent of.

"Lord , is it I that I need to forgive ? " I asked. He touched me. I know He touched me and I am going to get better. I am going to be well.

This idea that I need to be sick in order for the Lord to do a work in me comes from some place other than God's word. Still it hangs on to my thought life and I am seeking for a Word of Truth that will remove it once and for all from me.

I want to clarify that I believe God does use suffering to do a work in me as Paul states in Romans 5: 3-4 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Here is my picture that I have of me being in the woman who touches the hem of His garment story.

Jesus is here and I am yelling "unclean, unclean, unclean." He reaches out to touch me , and I draw back, saying ,"unclean, unclean, unclean."

It was her faith that made her whole. Not her faith that Jesus heals. Her faith that believed He forgives our sins , all sins . If I can not get through to that kind of faith I can never get to the healing He wants to give me. I know He is reaching out His hand to touch me. By using the word of my testimony today I am doing my best to not say " unclean, unclean, unclean."

My word of testimony today is : Is 53:5 But he [was] wounded for our transgressions, [he was] bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace [was] upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.