Father, may I come? Yes, you may go.

Years ago I was uncertain about the Father's love for me . I kind of had Him pictured as putting up with me. Did He really want me following Him? I didn't think so. But I was trying to follow Him anyway and He was just putting up with me.

To express my feelings I wrote an imaginary story about Oprah. The one that is in the story of Ruth and Naomi. I felt as though there could of been another part of the story , one of Oprah's who hadn't really been given permission to come so she just followed along out of sight .

Through the years I've come to realize that following God is an open invitation to all. All who would respond as Ruth did to Naomi. Willing to leave her gods, her people, her way of living that she was accustomed to.

This does not mean that I think everyone who chooses to follow Jesus will have the same happy ending to their story , (here on earth anyway) as Ruth did. After all the disciples said to Jesus, "We've left all to follow you. "

What I wanted to share with you this morning is a testimony about the power of God enabling me to leave my gods, my people, my way of life.

I did not wake up one day and have Naomi say , " I am leaving today, good bye." There was a day that I woke up, yes. A day that I realised there were gods in my life that I was wanting to hang on to. A day that I realised that what God wanted was to be my only God and what was keeping me feeling like I needed to hang around on the outskirts of the camp was that I knew, He was not my only God.

So I started saying , "I want to want to, let go of this ___________ and I want to want to live this way ____________ and I want to want Your people to be my people. "

This evidently is what He has always wanted to hear , because He has been helping me to want to let go of idolatry . He has been helping me want to make life choices , such as forgiving others when they trespass against me. He has been helping me love His people.

It is a process that is still on going .

Today when I was asking Him to direct me to the field that I should go to today. (I'll be more specific later on.) I realised that I was asking with confidence that He surely would lead me to the right field. I would go where He wanted me to go. He is my God and I am His person.

He's helping me to be the person who does not hold on to stuff and try to enter the kingdom of God. Even though I am still in the process of letting go of everything , He is willing to treat me as though I already have.

So I will be job hunting today , and I believe He will lead me to the right job. I will be looking for a new meeting room for the parenting support group that I facilitate. I believe He will lead me to the right place for that too.

Mark 16:15 And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.

This "go" is for all who will follow Him. Everywhere I go may I find fields ripe unto harvest.

I Have Decided To Follow Jesus

Right now I have some very big decisions to make.
A word picture would be of a ship (that's me) and a stormy sea ( the wind and waves telling me what I should do ) and the destination has a lighthouse set upon it . "Lord , I have decided to follow You, so please do something about this wind and waves. "
He is .
Perhaps the very wind and waves that I find making my trip so uncomfortable are the very things that I need to end up in the right place at the right time.

I was clipping along pretty good at giving a daily testimony when I read this book for authors.

It said, "Something written in haste is rarely enjoyed by the reader." ( Not exact quote.)

It has taken a few days for me to recover. Then the Holy Spirit reminded me this blog is not for the enjoyment of any reader. This is the word of my testimony.

Here it is:
My choices and actions were once interfered with by several oppressions put on me by the enemy. I wanted these oppressions to stop so I cried unto the LORD for help , and He helped.
He started sending people into my life that ignored the oppression and treated me as though I was free. When I mentioned that I might start drinking again they said ,"so, if you do, just keep on following Jesus." So instead of fearing that I would drink again, I just decided , that if it happened I would not stop following Jesus. Want to know something . I do not even want to drink anymore. I can not even think that I would want to drink anymore. But if I do , I will continue to follow Jesus . The thing is now , of course you've noticed. I am following Jesus. I doubt very seriously that He is going to go into a bar . That is pretty easy to assume , given my history with strong beverages. Although you and I know of people He has lead into bars. I am just trying to relate this problem to my current problem(s) and follow Him through this storm.
Now I am following Jesus and I assume that I am not to go into debt to go where He is showing me to go. Just like I assume that I am not going to go into a bar . Are you following my testimony here ?
On the other hand , everyone knows that you go into debt when you live in a house.
I am beginning to lean towards the same attitude for health insurance deductibles. Health insurance with a $2,000.00 deductible maybe should be looked at like a mortgage on a house. If you plan to pay it , it is okay.
So I have to go and pursue a job. My ad in the paper did not produce anyone who would pursue me. So now I have to go and pursue a job.

My word of testimony today is that I believe Jesus will not leave me or forsake me.

Can This Be ?

The LORD has blessed me to live among my own people. We have a tendency to get into a rut. How it happened that I would want to be a rut breaker, I do not know. Maybe it happened because I realised that going in a rut was what eventually became a ditch, and a ditch eventually became a gully, and a gully eventually became a Grand Canyon. Well, it could if gone over enough times.

So when I cried unto the LORD to help me out of my rut/Grand Canyon one of the first thoughts to come to me was that I needed to be able to accept a change in the way I did things.
One of the first thoughts was that to get out of that rut I would have to learn to follow the Holy Spirit. My very first thought was no wonder I had gotten into such a deep rut, I had been quenching the Holy Spirit for a very long time. Not only had I been quenching the Holy Spirit but I had been grieving the Holy Spirit and in so doing I realised that I had been denying the power of the Holy Spirit. This is not acceptable behavior in the kingdom of God so while in the midst of getting out of my rut I also sought for a new way of living. You see I had gotten out of ruts so many times only to find myself back in one again, I was ready , ready for change, ready for anything that God might want to do.

There was no clearly laid plan in my mind how God would deliver me, but I believed He was my deliverer. There was no formula that I was planning to follow except to believe that I had been created to glorify His name. There was no way that I could plan my days ahead because each day I hoped would be the day that I no longer walked in my rut. I had to say, "If the LORD wills ," to every thing because I only had a hope of His will being done in my life.

A friend suggested that I read Romans 8 as a prayer of thanksgiving to the LORD , each day. I do not know the particular translation she gave me but it seemed to be English friendly. As I would read it the words seemed easy to form into the way I was comfortable speaking. Romans 8: 1 says: There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. My thanksgiving prayer was, I thank you Father that because of Your great love for us You gave Your son to me and I believe to receive that His blood has washed all my sins away. With this cleansing power comes the added blessing that I am now in Christ Jesus , and because I am in Christ Jesus there is now no condemnation for me.

You see, I started living under the blood of the Lamb. I started wanting to give my word of testimony to the effect that there is now no condemnation for me. I began looking ahead to the day that my rut would become a flat land once again. A day that what was happening around me or to me would not shake me or slow me down. That my walk with Jesus would be more important than what was happening around me.

So when I asked people to pray for me I could not help but exhort them to expect a miracle. Some misunderstand and thought that I was demanding a miracle. When they misunderstand I did not know what else to do but say once again, "Expect a miracle."

It came to me today that my life is a little like Peter's when he had been put in prison. There was a whole group of people praying for him. Yet when the very thing that they were asking God to do on Peter's behalf , they had a hard time believing that it really could happen.

I have been in prison/rut for so long that people hardly know what to think when I ask them to pray for me as though I'm out. I will be able to follow the Spirit. Romans 8 says I can.

I am putting my hope in that God will surely allow there to be at least one young maiden to answer the door when I come out , and she will be able to convince the rest that God truly is a
God who performs miracles , even today.

Loving God Where I'm At

This word of testimony was inspired by a fellow traveller Francis Frangipane.

Loving God where I'm at means that He does not have to change a thing , and I will love Him.

Loving God where I'm at means that I will accept that every thing He has allowed will not have to be fixed, healed and explained , still I will love Him.

Loving God where I'm at means that I accept that He is able to look at me and know where I am.

Loving God where I'm at means that I can remove that cloak of fear that hides me , and love Him.

Loving God where I'm at means that I am loving Him in the present not the future.

Loving God where I'm at means that I love Him NOW !

Hope , Faith , Love

Faith requires action James tells us. Maybe it is the action that is done in hope that unleashes the faith that in turn, pours out His LOVE.

When I purpose within my heart to perform an action I hope that the LOVE of God will show through the end result . However, at the beginning my "action" may look like it is nothing .

Somewhere it is written , "do not despise small beginnings."

Zec 4: 10 Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel's hand. For these seven lamps represent the eyes of the LORD that search all around the world."

So my blog site that offers my word of testimony. The support group for parents that I have begun. The times I give someone who steals from me , more than they have taken. The times that I go and be in the company of the hard to love , due to physical assaults to my five senses. The many other small beginnings that I can see going on in my life right now !

The word of my testimony : I will not despise !

I have hope in those small beginnings , may God be glorified when His LOVE is flowing through them.

May my ability to not despise these small beginnings carry over to not despising others small beginnings. It is hard enough to build a wall. I hope to be an encouragement and never , ever despise their small beginnings.

Lead Me to the Rock that is Higher

My word of testimony today is about my real life experience. However, to protect the identity of the person in my story I will greatly change one important distinguishing feature . I will refer to this person as "poor" but she is not poor. In place of this word you could put "stinks" or "has a physical deformity that is makes her offense to look at" ,you could put has "turrets " thus she (beyond her control) says things that I would rather not hear. What ever would be the hardest person for you to be around and love , the physical reason for that , put here , in place of "poor."

Ps 3:3 But thou, O LORD, [art] a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
My glory is His glory as the Ps describes. My purpose is His purpose , I thank Him for lifting my head and being a shield for me as I struggle to let Him help me rise above my enemies.

The enemy that I need to rise above is Pride.

The only way to do that is to humble ones self , this would seem to be going the other way , down rather than up. Yet I know that down , before the Lord is where I need to go , and lift my head up towards Him and look into His eyes.

In the post before there is a video about a person born without limbs. He has a fantastic word of testimony click the highlighted words lifewithoutlimbs . At first his parents had a hard time accepting that he had been born like this. They eventually did believe that God loved them and their son and went forward. He now believes the purpose God has for his life is in process of being fulfilled.

I want to hear the testimony of his parents. I want to know how did they get to the place that they began talking to their son as a whole person. Surely there is a way to overcome because we are admonished in the Bible to not favor the rich and give them the best seats and give a lowly seat to the poor. The man without limbs feels he is overcoming because he is able to go on and live his life for God's glory. May God bless His parents with a word of testimony that might help us who are thrust into a place such as they were.

(My story to be posted at a later date. I have to somehow re-state the events so as not to allow her identity.)

A Simply Fantastic Video , Must See !

Here is an e-mail that I sent to my friend today. She does not call me often but when she does I believe it is because the Spirit has led her. She sent me this video that you must see to be able to understand my letter. It takes about 12 minutes, so if you were in a hurry today, come back tomorrow .

Part one of the video is available by clicking the link below,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64iiIExl8C4

And part 2 is available by clicking this next link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_FxzNbXNiY

Hello friend,

I am hoping this message will find you still believing that "YOU ARE LED BY THE SPIRIT".
After years of living in condemnation I found it very difficult to live "every" day believing that.
Little by little my life has taken a 98 degree turn and I have more minutes believing than I ever did before.
So you didn't call me , because the Spirit did not lead you to call , or if you truly feel convicted ( like I do right now because I honestly have been putting off calling someone that I know I should talk to ) either way you are my friend . That means you do not have to do perfectly 100% of the time. I think we are at about the same place in our journey and the Lord is being gracious to us by letting us re-connect at times so we can encourage each other as we go along.

Our connecting point is letting go of our children.

You are doing so good !

And thank you for sending me that encouraging video. That was so awesome.

Unlike you , (or maybe you just haven't felt comfortable enough to share ) I feel responsible for my daughters and sons limbs being missing.
So it seems like an extra hard thing to get through ( to me ) mainly because I can not talk about it with people without them spending alot of time trying to convince me how wrong I am.

I would like to meet one healthy person who could look me in the face and say , "Yes, you are right. You certainly are a decendant from Adam and Eve and I imagine they spent many a night awake wondering how they could of done things differently so that Cain would not of killed Abel. "

After they got sick and tired of that though , maybe they looked at the promise that was given them .

That is what I am trying to do. And by faith in that promise , let go.

It is hard. One day I can do it and the next minute you'd think I had never even tried. I guess it is like walking in the Spirit. You just have to get up every morning believing that the Spirit will lead you and that your heart will be willing to follow. When I have to interact with my children I have to keep on believing .

Sometimes I have to repent of idolatry at the end of the day. Sometimes I have to repent of wanting to be my children's idol. I have to believe His grace is suffiecient for me and go on.

God bless you. I thought I didn't have a word of testimony for today , but I think now I do. I hope I can figure out how to get the video on there.

Right after I make that phone call I've been putting off.

Peace,
Diane