Suffering Reproach and Shame

I have a friend who overcame the sin of gluttony several years ago.
With the absence of that sin running rampant in her life she consequently lost a lot of weight.
I say consequently because sometimes the consequence of doing right is not pleasant.
Consequently she has never looked like the friend that I remember .
Consequently every time I see her I try to remember the way she use to look.
Consequently I have been trying to remember her when she sinned.
Consequently every time that months have lapsed between our visits I anticipate a set back, looking to see if she's gained some weight back.
Consequently I have been helping her suffer reproach and shame.
Consequently I have to admit it seems like a human thing to do.
Consequently I have to seek God for a more divine like love , because I see mine is stinking again.

Not to long ago I caught a look on another friend's face that told me she still remembered when I sinned. I was very hurt because I read into that look that she thought I might still be capable of doing that kind of sin again.
I thought to myself ,"she will never trust me. How can we be friends ?" At first I thought she really was not trusting Jesus , believing that He had done a work of healing in me. But the Holy Spirit showed me that may not be true.

Whenever a sin has lasted long enough in a person's life to become a stronghold it may take a while to see it destroyed. There is always that possibility that the enemy might come back around with temptation to see if he can build it up again.
Just like the initial beginnings of the coming down of that stronghold , I need to stand ready to fight a fight of faith as God's word directs me.
Well, spiritual warfare is a choice. You can do it or you can not. The scriptures encourage us to stay involved with the warfare that Christ Jesus has given us the victory over. Giving my word of testimony everyday is an evidence that I believe this is not a sit down , do nothing kind of walk with God.

But she doesn't know that about me. She doesn't know that I find great joy in participating in the victories that Jesus has won for me. And she doesn't know that I am not about to just stand around and let the enemy rebuild a stronghold that took so long to see come down.

I was feeling let down because her look did not indicate that she would be ready to help me fight temptation again. Her look said, "You better not let that stronghold get built up in your life again, or I won't have anything to do with you."

So I am planning on talking with her about that. I am planning on sharing with her how it was that the love of God shown through just a few individuals is how my stronghold got destroyed in the first place. It took a few women doing something very hard for them to do in their own strength and I know they must have surely sought the LORD to be able to express an act of love to me when this stronghold was so strong it seemed I had no control over it's force.

When I looked back and remembered what I had done , I struggled to believe that God could love me then. However, that was exactly what I needed to do , was struggle to believe and eventually I did believe and accepted that Christ died for me while I was yet a sinner . Their response to my sin helped very much, although neither of them know today what an effect it had on my life.

When I was talking to the LORD about how bad it feels to have people remember what you have done , I was reminded of Mary called Magdalene. She had to carry her past around with her too.

Luke 8:2 And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils,

She did not let what people said or thought about her past , stop her from following Jesus.

I was also convicted of putting a label like that on my friend , only in a bad way. If I can't forget what she looked like when she was heavy , maybe I can train myself to glorify God and thank Him for the victory He gave her over the stronghold of gluttony.

It has occurred to me the same might have been done to glorify God in Magdalene's case , and she bore the reproach knowing that He was being glorified for what He did for her.