When the Holy Spirit convicts me of sin , this is a good thing. The conviction can stay a good thing until I decide He is not working fast enough. That I should be helping more with my repentance and then , I look around and wonder where the Holy Spirit is !
The only way that I know to back up is, to once again go to that place in my spirit that the Holy Spirit met me.
Like the woman at the well that Jesus met. He was not condemning her for where she was at , and I do believe that no matter what our sins, so it is with Jesus today.
He is not condemning me. Does He want me to change ? Yes, a spiritual change that He has done. Not a fleshly work that I can do.
And so , for it not to be a work of the flesh , I must wait on the Holy Spirit and believe I am loved, right where I am at.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
A Good Kind of Hiding
Most of my life I have felt like hiding. Hiding from God's love is not an option however when you plan to enter the kingdom of God. Here you have to not hide and so I have endeavored to quit hiding from His love.
It has not been easy , it has taken days and days of applying His word to my life. Basically what the rest of the body of Christ is doing. I know , I am not so different.
For me the true word of testimony is when I can share that process with others. Very few talk about the housecleaning job that they take the time to purposely thank the LORD for each chair as they dust the legs and seats. Oh, I am sure there are a lot of people doing this, just not a lot take the time to talk about it. How I can thankfully dust that chair is a word of testimony to me because I know that except for the awesome power of the grace of God I could not dust it. I could not want to get down on the floor and dust the legs and braces that probably no one will notice if I don't do it.
It is from this grace that I spring board toward other things that my flesh does not want to do.
I do not want to come out from hiding. It has been a plan of self preservation for so long I can not even remember why I started hiding in the first place. Lately I have been having a very hard time with my flesh , that wants to keep on hiding. Finally I found a break through.
My flesh doesn't really want to keep hiding however ........it only wants to come out when it is sure that it is safe.
I can not imagine how one could go about convincing ones self that life will be safe.
It is not safe. To come out from hiding is definitely a risk .
There is one way that I can come out from hiding in this world and still feel safe. That would be to realize that there is a safe place for me in Jesus.
Jesus said, "that in this world there would be trouble , but be of cheer for He had overcome the world. "
Stepping out of hiding from my own self preservation but walking into a world that Jesus will be with me , makes coming out a whole lot easier.
It has not been easy , it has taken days and days of applying His word to my life. Basically what the rest of the body of Christ is doing. I know , I am not so different.
For me the true word of testimony is when I can share that process with others. Very few talk about the housecleaning job that they take the time to purposely thank the LORD for each chair as they dust the legs and seats. Oh, I am sure there are a lot of people doing this, just not a lot take the time to talk about it. How I can thankfully dust that chair is a word of testimony to me because I know that except for the awesome power of the grace of God I could not dust it. I could not want to get down on the floor and dust the legs and braces that probably no one will notice if I don't do it.
It is from this grace that I spring board toward other things that my flesh does not want to do.
I do not want to come out from hiding. It has been a plan of self preservation for so long I can not even remember why I started hiding in the first place. Lately I have been having a very hard time with my flesh , that wants to keep on hiding. Finally I found a break through.
My flesh doesn't really want to keep hiding however ........it only wants to come out when it is sure that it is safe.
I can not imagine how one could go about convincing ones self that life will be safe.
It is not safe. To come out from hiding is definitely a risk .
There is one way that I can come out from hiding in this world and still feel safe. That would be to realize that there is a safe place for me in Jesus.
Jesus said, "that in this world there would be trouble , but be of cheer for He had overcome the world. "
Stepping out of hiding from my own self preservation but walking into a world that Jesus will be with me , makes coming out a whole lot easier.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
He That Ears Let Him Hear
My friend and I are hoping for an encounter with God. This means we are open to anything or any way that He might want to reveal Himself to us.
I shared a word of testimony yesterday with my friend. It was of a time when God moved on my behalf in a very wonderful way. My reason for sharing that testimony was because I also wanted her to know what happened the next day.
Some well meaning church attender called me up and said that I had been unwise . That God wants us to use wisdom and that my step of faith could of cost many people their lives.
My friend was shocked. "You did not believe her, did you?" my friend said. That is what I wanted to tell you, "yes , I did."
I was at a time in my life when I thought everyone knew better than me. I loved God but I thought when He said to love people , He meant "please people." I could not fathom doing anything that other church goers thought I should not do.
Now of course , I know better. Just in case I forget , I recently have had my own little reminder, that every time God moves , somebody is going to feel it their duty to shame you.
I told her that I think the way to handle these helpers words is to throw them in the fire. Just like Paul threw that viper in the fire. I was also quick to remind her that Jesus said, " when you feed your enemies and you cloth your enemies it will be like fire of coals upon their heads. "
My enemies seem to be well fed and they have nicer clothes than I do. However, I am praying that the spiritual food and the white wedding garments they really hope to be wearing when Jesus returns , will be provided.
May God be glorified as I need His strength to do this. Throwing their words into the fire and blessing those who curse you is not an easy thing to do. Actually more than I can do. May God be glorified as each day I am trying to be more yielded to His strength and ask again for an encounter of Himself into my life.
I shared a word of testimony yesterday with my friend. It was of a time when God moved on my behalf in a very wonderful way. My reason for sharing that testimony was because I also wanted her to know what happened the next day.
Some well meaning church attender called me up and said that I had been unwise . That God wants us to use wisdom and that my step of faith could of cost many people their lives.
My friend was shocked. "You did not believe her, did you?" my friend said. That is what I wanted to tell you, "yes , I did."
I was at a time in my life when I thought everyone knew better than me. I loved God but I thought when He said to love people , He meant "please people." I could not fathom doing anything that other church goers thought I should not do.
Now of course , I know better. Just in case I forget , I recently have had my own little reminder, that every time God moves , somebody is going to feel it their duty to shame you.
I told her that I think the way to handle these helpers words is to throw them in the fire. Just like Paul threw that viper in the fire. I was also quick to remind her that Jesus said, " when you feed your enemies and you cloth your enemies it will be like fire of coals upon their heads. "
My enemies seem to be well fed and they have nicer clothes than I do. However, I am praying that the spiritual food and the white wedding garments they really hope to be wearing when Jesus returns , will be provided.
May God be glorified as I need His strength to do this. Throwing their words into the fire and blessing those who curse you is not an easy thing to do. Actually more than I can do. May God be glorified as each day I am trying to be more yielded to His strength and ask again for an encounter of Himself into my life.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Pressing In To Suffering
I woke up last night with my leg really hurting. I have been having leg cramps during the night pretty often but nothing like this.
Always before I would take my foot, the one on the end of the leg that was hurting , and I would press my foot to the futon end bar. Actually I had started sleeping on the futon because of the two round bars that serve as arm rests when folded up for sitting , and head and ends for a bed when laid down. A doctor had once told a friend of mine that if she would fix herself up a brace to press her foot against at night when the leg cramps started that they would then subside.
This had been working pretty good for me , after about 5 minutes of foot pressing the cramps would subside and I could go back to sleep.
But last night was different. I woke to a greater degree of pain in my leg than I ever had before. I couldn't bring myself to press on the bar. I got up and took some aspirin then laid back down. After about 20 minutes the pain lessened to the dull cramp that I was use to in my leg. I would then press my foot for a while , for some reason I could not stick with it for 5 minutes . I would find myself waking up over and over with a leg cramp all during the night.
About 6 a.m. I woke still hurting , my first thought was what will my scripture for today be?
Groggily I thought, suffering. Something about suffering. As I laid there awake enough now to stick with a 5 minute foot press I quoted to myself Romans 5:3-5 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. NIV
Somehow first thing in the morning my thoughts always seem clearer. I thought to myself now do I really think that Paul was talking about this kind of suffering ? Somehow , no , it did not seem likely to me. More likely he was talking about the kind of suffering one does when they know that they are not liked because of who or what they are. Yet as I have been learning lately I must press on, I must not react as though I am unloved. I must react as though I am loved. I must press on and believe that I can not be separated from God's love. That no matter what any one says to me or does that affects me I must press in and believe that there is no way that what they do that can interfere with what God has planned for me.
Since God is the bigger power here , no ones little attempts , or failed attempts to show love even , will mount to a hill of beans compared to God's love.
I am one of those people that hear , "bless your heart," a lot , or "aren't you sweet." Somehow it feels like some throwing marshmallows at me , instead of love. Of course , marshmallows really is nothing to complain about. If you are one of those people that you hear, "bless your heart ," a lot , you'll know what I mean.
But it is okay. Because God has got a pure sweet true , solid kind of love for me that I do not have to worry about if no one else can come up with. His is best , all I have to do is press in.
Always before I would take my foot, the one on the end of the leg that was hurting , and I would press my foot to the futon end bar. Actually I had started sleeping on the futon because of the two round bars that serve as arm rests when folded up for sitting , and head and ends for a bed when laid down. A doctor had once told a friend of mine that if she would fix herself up a brace to press her foot against at night when the leg cramps started that they would then subside.
This had been working pretty good for me , after about 5 minutes of foot pressing the cramps would subside and I could go back to sleep.
But last night was different. I woke to a greater degree of pain in my leg than I ever had before. I couldn't bring myself to press on the bar. I got up and took some aspirin then laid back down. After about 20 minutes the pain lessened to the dull cramp that I was use to in my leg. I would then press my foot for a while , for some reason I could not stick with it for 5 minutes . I would find myself waking up over and over with a leg cramp all during the night.
About 6 a.m. I woke still hurting , my first thought was what will my scripture for today be?
Groggily I thought, suffering. Something about suffering. As I laid there awake enough now to stick with a 5 minute foot press I quoted to myself Romans 5:3-5 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. NIV
Somehow first thing in the morning my thoughts always seem clearer. I thought to myself now do I really think that Paul was talking about this kind of suffering ? Somehow , no , it did not seem likely to me. More likely he was talking about the kind of suffering one does when they know that they are not liked because of who or what they are. Yet as I have been learning lately I must press on, I must not react as though I am unloved. I must react as though I am loved. I must press on and believe that I can not be separated from God's love. That no matter what any one says to me or does that affects me I must press in and believe that there is no way that what they do that can interfere with what God has planned for me.
Since God is the bigger power here , no ones little attempts , or failed attempts to show love even , will mount to a hill of beans compared to God's love.
I am one of those people that hear , "bless your heart," a lot , or "aren't you sweet." Somehow it feels like some throwing marshmallows at me , instead of love. Of course , marshmallows really is nothing to complain about. If you are one of those people that you hear, "bless your heart ," a lot , you'll know what I mean.
But it is okay. Because God has got a pure sweet true , solid kind of love for me that I do not have to worry about if no one else can come up with. His is best , all I have to do is press in.
Monday, March 22, 2010
A Jezebel in A Martha's World
Yes, I am trying out a title for a new book.
Actually there is humor in knowing that very few people would be interested in a book with that title . Most of us know all to well how to act like a Jezebel and that is why the book titled Being a Mary in a Martha's World , sold really well.
I didn't buy that book though. I thought I had the Mary thing down pretty good and I didn't need it, until I realised that as a Mary one could oh so easily turn into a Jezebel.
Fortunately for me I had seen a few Jezebels in operation before and it wasn't hard for the Lord to hold a mirror up to my face and say, "Take a look."
If you read my previous post you know the Holy Spirit was convicting me about rebellion. I took all the steps towards repentance that I felt the Holy Spirit was showing me. The blessed fruit of that repentance is that the Holy Spirit is now able to show me how I was starting to act like a Jezebel.
Oh how thankful am I that the Holy Spirit does not let me go on and on with my own follies. What a relief to know that if you truly desire truth in the inward parts , you will get it.
I do not think the Jezebel spirit is strictly a woman thing although it seems to be most easily recognized in women , because of her gender. For those who have not seen Jezebels in operation before , it is a person who pretends submission to authority all the while working on their own agenda.
What is neat about the Holy Spirit is He started pricking me , (making me uncomfortable) when I knew my submission was not being real.
So that none of you out there are saying , "Oh wow, what a great person. She doesn't want to be fake." Let me inform you that is not really my doing.
I don't want to be fake because I want a real relationship with Jesus . How I got to be this way can only be attributed to the grace of God.
The word of my testimony today is that I am more able to forgive those people that I needed to forgive yesterday, and I am beginning to see a fruit of repentance.
Hallelujah, I am headed back to being a Mary in a Martha's world.
Actually there is humor in knowing that very few people would be interested in a book with that title . Most of us know all to well how to act like a Jezebel and that is why the book titled Being a Mary in a Martha's World , sold really well.
I didn't buy that book though. I thought I had the Mary thing down pretty good and I didn't need it, until I realised that as a Mary one could oh so easily turn into a Jezebel.
Fortunately for me I had seen a few Jezebels in operation before and it wasn't hard for the Lord to hold a mirror up to my face and say, "Take a look."
If you read my previous post you know the Holy Spirit was convicting me about rebellion. I took all the steps towards repentance that I felt the Holy Spirit was showing me. The blessed fruit of that repentance is that the Holy Spirit is now able to show me how I was starting to act like a Jezebel.
Oh how thankful am I that the Holy Spirit does not let me go on and on with my own follies. What a relief to know that if you truly desire truth in the inward parts , you will get it.
I do not think the Jezebel spirit is strictly a woman thing although it seems to be most easily recognized in women , because of her gender. For those who have not seen Jezebels in operation before , it is a person who pretends submission to authority all the while working on their own agenda.
What is neat about the Holy Spirit is He started pricking me , (making me uncomfortable) when I knew my submission was not being real.
So that none of you out there are saying , "Oh wow, what a great person. She doesn't want to be fake." Let me inform you that is not really my doing.
I don't want to be fake because I want a real relationship with Jesus . How I got to be this way can only be attributed to the grace of God.
The word of my testimony today is that I am more able to forgive those people that I needed to forgive yesterday, and I am beginning to see a fruit of repentance.
Hallelujah, I am headed back to being a Mary in a Martha's world.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Not Worthy For You To Call Me Son
I've seen it in some churches for years. The truth is told on Sunday mornings and then somehow , some way , for the interested , they manage to apply that truth to their lives by the next Sunday. Only some times they stumble. Some times they are really wanting to apply God's word but they stumble. Can they holler , "Hey, wait up, I've stumbled !" ? Of course not. You are not suppose to stumble. What is wrong with you any way. So they come in to church next Sunday , disguising the bruises that happened when they fell , and hope that somewhere along the line they will be able to catch up. Some day.
The vision statement of my church is this , Jesus said it best in Matt. 12:20 A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench, till he send forth judgment unto victory.
I sure hope that means you can holler ,"Hey, wait up, I've stumbled."
I think it does.
When Jesus told me to forgive my enemies He certainly was not commanding me to do something that He would not do Himself. In fact , because He did everything as the Father wanted Him to do, I know His Spirit now empowers me to do as He did.
My flesh really does not want to forgive my enemies. However, I am putting my confidence in God. I do not give the control of my life over to my flesh. I give it to God.
I am very thankful for another word of testimony given by a very famous lady, Corrie Ten Boone. She tells of a time when one of the prison guards who had treated her and her sister so badly , came to one of the meetings she was speaking in. He had become a Christian. Corrie Ten Boone knew that the thing her heavenly Father wanted her to do was forgive this man. She says in her testimony that in her mind she prayed , Jesus help me forgive him, and as she raised her hand to shake his , by the time their hands touched she sensed the power of the Holy Spirit helping her to forgive him.
It is testimonies like that that give me hope. My word of testimony is , " I am trying very hard to raise my hand."
Jesus said when we pray we are to say this to Our Father in Heaven, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.
So I will. I thought today of myself being as the prodigal son. All stinky and ready to leave the pig sty. All I have to do is go home and be a servant, it will be better than it is for me now. Only I know He isn't going to let that happen. He wants me to be a son and I am going to have to do as a son. Am I going to let Him forgive me , when I do not want to forgive someone else who has done the same thing ?
I think when Paul wrote the just shall live by faith , he meant just that. I will raise my hand to shake the hand of my enemy in faith, believing that by the time it touches his , the work that Jesus Christ did for me on Calvary will manifest itself through my life.
The vision statement of my church is this , Jesus said it best in Matt. 12:20 A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench, till he send forth judgment unto victory.
I sure hope that means you can holler ,"Hey, wait up, I've stumbled."
I think it does.
When Jesus told me to forgive my enemies He certainly was not commanding me to do something that He would not do Himself. In fact , because He did everything as the Father wanted Him to do, I know His Spirit now empowers me to do as He did.
My flesh really does not want to forgive my enemies. However, I am putting my confidence in God. I do not give the control of my life over to my flesh. I give it to God.
I am very thankful for another word of testimony given by a very famous lady, Corrie Ten Boone. She tells of a time when one of the prison guards who had treated her and her sister so badly , came to one of the meetings she was speaking in. He had become a Christian. Corrie Ten Boone knew that the thing her heavenly Father wanted her to do was forgive this man. She says in her testimony that in her mind she prayed , Jesus help me forgive him, and as she raised her hand to shake his , by the time their hands touched she sensed the power of the Holy Spirit helping her to forgive him.
It is testimonies like that that give me hope. My word of testimony is , " I am trying very hard to raise my hand."
Jesus said when we pray we are to say this to Our Father in Heaven, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.
So I will. I thought today of myself being as the prodigal son. All stinky and ready to leave the pig sty. All I have to do is go home and be a servant, it will be better than it is for me now. Only I know He isn't going to let that happen. He wants me to be a son and I am going to have to do as a son. Am I going to let Him forgive me , when I do not want to forgive someone else who has done the same thing ?
I think when Paul wrote the just shall live by faith , he meant just that. I will raise my hand to shake the hand of my enemy in faith, believing that by the time it touches his , the work that Jesus Christ did for me on Calvary will manifest itself through my life.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
For Those Who Are In Christ Jesus
Romans 8:1 [There is] therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
Just how do I become one of those people ? I would love to live in no condemnation. That would mean living in Christ Jesus , right ?
That would mean that I walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. This is the description I have of one who is in Christ Jesus.
My word of testimony today is that I , Diane Beadle am becoming one of those people.
The way that I have found to stay in this process of becoming , is to constantly , I mean as constantly as I can , believe that God the Father of my Lord Jesus Christ , loves me.
That means when I have a problem that makes me sure others probably would not like to be around me, I chose to believe that God loves me. I also chose to believe , that unless I am contagious , people do want to be around me. Maybe they want to want to be around me, I chose to believe if they know of God's love at all , they want to treat me as good as God would.
That means when any thing happens that my flesh wants to interpret as a sign that I am unloved, I must sustain myself with God's word and confess , that " Yes , He does love me."
John 3:16-18 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
That means that every time my head hears thoughts that say the opposite of this truth I have to deal with it. I have to chose am I going to listen to the Spirit of Christ that dwells within me or am I going to listen to this liar? If my head is giving me thoughts that says , God does not love me, it has to be from some other source rather than the Spirit. The Spirit can not lie , He will only speak the truth , and the truth is God loves me. Any other thought is a lie.
Some people think the thing to do it just ignore the lie and go on the best you can.
I however believe that I am to take the sword of the Spirit and cut that lies head off.
I suppose you can do either and it will be fine. I just find that doing the latter has given me great joy in the Holy Ghost . It will take longer to do than the former and it may be more difficult and even seem to hurt while doing it.
Now that I have done it a few times I can not even remember why I thought the former way was an option. Only I knew I did , so I would never judge someone for doing so.
If you have read this word of testimony and chose to give your testimony of joyfully ignoring lies rather than confronting them with the truth please feel free to do so. Any word of testimony that gives glory to our Lord Jesus Christ is worth giving.
Just how do I become one of those people ? I would love to live in no condemnation. That would mean living in Christ Jesus , right ?
That would mean that I walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. This is the description I have of one who is in Christ Jesus.
My word of testimony today is that I , Diane Beadle am becoming one of those people.
The way that I have found to stay in this process of becoming , is to constantly , I mean as constantly as I can , believe that God the Father of my Lord Jesus Christ , loves me.
That means when I have a problem that makes me sure others probably would not like to be around me, I chose to believe that God loves me. I also chose to believe , that unless I am contagious , people do want to be around me. Maybe they want to want to be around me, I chose to believe if they know of God's love at all , they want to treat me as good as God would.
That means when any thing happens that my flesh wants to interpret as a sign that I am unloved, I must sustain myself with God's word and confess , that " Yes , He does love me."
John 3:16-18 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
That means that every time my head hears thoughts that say the opposite of this truth I have to deal with it. I have to chose am I going to listen to the Spirit of Christ that dwells within me or am I going to listen to this liar? If my head is giving me thoughts that says , God does not love me, it has to be from some other source rather than the Spirit. The Spirit can not lie , He will only speak the truth , and the truth is God loves me. Any other thought is a lie.
Some people think the thing to do it just ignore the lie and go on the best you can.
I however believe that I am to take the sword of the Spirit and cut that lies head off.
I suppose you can do either and it will be fine. I just find that doing the latter has given me great joy in the Holy Ghost . It will take longer to do than the former and it may be more difficult and even seem to hurt while doing it.
Now that I have done it a few times I can not even remember why I thought the former way was an option. Only I knew I did , so I would never judge someone for doing so.
If you have read this word of testimony and chose to give your testimony of joyfully ignoring lies rather than confronting them with the truth please feel free to do so. Any word of testimony that gives glory to our Lord Jesus Christ is worth giving.
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