Sunday, February 21, 2010

You Are Playing With Fire

The title of "My Word of Testimony" is a declaration that what someone else is doing is affecting me. The "someone" or "someones" is a mystery to me. If you are the "one" be assured I only can guess who is doing this.

Romans 12:20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

Please don't stop.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Oil in My Lamp

My last word of testimony may not seem earth shaking to you but it has had all the effects that an earthquake would have for me.
I grew up on songs like , give me oil in my lamp keep me burning , burning , burning, give me oil in my lamp I pray.
What an odd way to sing about the parable of the 10 virgins. I see it all so differently now.
As I shared with you last time I have come to realize that the oil one needs to have in their lamp is "a right spirit." This right spirit can be lost , just as the five foolish virgins discover.
I think David had lost his right spirit unawares. Fortunately for him the LORD sent Nathan the prophet to prompt him into seeing where he really was. In Psalms 51 he asks the LORD to renew a right spirit within him.
I have been meditating on how to have more of an indication that I might be losing a right spirit. What warning signs can I see to make me more cautious and instead of completely losing my right spirit start doing what would motivate God to renew my right spirit.
Once again I have been reminded how important it is to God that I believe that He loves me.
You know that was the difference between David and Saul . David was convinced that God loved him and Saul just never was sure. Saul was very works oriented I think. It wasn't an obedience based on a confidence of God's love that I see in Saul . I see him trying to earn God's love and always testing God to see if God would love him now.
My transformation of becoming a new creation in Christ Jesus has made me see that I have got to leave my old Saul like attitudes behind.
God loves me and that is settled. He chastens those whom He loves. Only to point them towards repentance. He is glad that I start asking for a gift of repentance and start seeking for Him to answer my request for bread at the door.
So having a full lamp that doesn't drain out through a hole is one that is buoyed by the confidence that God loves me. Foolish virgins may want me to convince them that God loves them but that may be the way one could lose their oil.
I use to think that the reason God wanted me to do things like feed and cloth my enemies, chase down the thief who stole my coat and give him my cloak, and other such things was so others would be convinced by my actions that God loves them.
I had that all wrong. My life is kind of like a dance , that I do with only one partner. He leads me to feed the hungry and he leads me to pray for the sick much like a dance partner leads one in a waltz with fancy steps. I am just following. He is leading. That is all that it is about. He is my God. I am His person . We do things together. I make mistakes , He gives me a nudge to correct my mis-steps. He never stops loving me, He never stops leading me. He is God.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

There's a Hole In My .....Lamp.....dear Liza dear Liza

I love allegorical stories and I once asked the Lord if He wouldn't want to give me an allegorical story to write. I have waited on that answer for years. Sometimes wondering if my story would become as famous as Hannah Hurnard's High Feet in High Places. Her story of course has helped millions discover the essential truth in every fruitful Christians life , that our minds are to be renewed with God's word.
She actually may have my subject matter covered because the renewing of our minds is the way we are transformed . My allegorical subject requires transforming and probably is going to amount to a short story suitable , maybe for some Christian magazine that accepts fictitious stories as articles.
I do not want to wait until that day when this would be article is at sometime submitted when I have at my disposal this world wide web and all who want can read it whenever they want.
My word of testimony today is I have an analogy for an allegorical story that I feel will be of great benefit to the Christian community. I am assuming the Christian community has as it's greatest most important concern , being a bride ready for the bridegroom when He comes.
The most important part of being ready for His return would not be doing the right things . It would be doing the right things with the right spirit.
I have found that being made uncomfortable when I have a wrong spirit is a blessing . I once lamented that I was not engulfed with believers who were on constant overflow from the Holy Spirit. However, I now see that in a whole new light.
While it indeed might be wonderful to have your entire being filled day after day with an out pouring of the Holy Spirit. If I had such an opportunity now it would be hard to pass up.
However, I am painfully aware that what I am getting is not being worked into my spirit thus producing for me a right spirit.
What I have is a bucket with a hole in it. As long as I kept going somewhere where there was some overflow my hole in my bucket was not very noticeable. Getting less and less of an opportunity to join with spirit filled believers is making me painfully aware of my lack of love.
Also those addictions that I could joyfully receive grace for , are standing out to me much more.
Yes , I do want an outpouring of the Holy Spirit. Yes, I do want God to create within me a clean heart. Yes, I do want Him to restore a right spirit within me. And I want one thing more. I want to know how to maintain that right spirit so that when He returns , I will be sure to have enough.

Ps 51 : 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Renew A Right Spirit In Me

The last time I posted I talked about the parable of the 10 virgins. I compared the oil in their lamps to being the empowering of the Holy Spirit and thought it was a warning to those who would burn out before the LORD returns.

Today as I share my word of testimony I have a whole new perspective on this parable. I was close but off quite a lot. Close as in saying Australia and America are close. They are of course on the same planet. The oil in the lamp does have something to do with the Holy Spirit but not at all like I thought.

Close because one can not obtain a right spirit without the Holy Spirit. Off because the LORD is not saying we are to be wise in how we use the Holy Spirit or we will run out.

I think having oil in your lamp when the bridegroom returns it is all about having a right spirit. Foolishly some think that just doing the right things without the right spirit will be enough when the bridegroom comes.

However obtaining a right spirit takes wisdom . Note the parable saying that the foolish virgins realize that they should have bought more. They must have known at some point that a right spirit was required but for some reason did not maintain the required amount for the bridegrooms return.

Note that they actually think it might be possible to be ready when He returns if the other virgins give them some of their oil. That is a little confusing to me still .

I know if I am around others who have a right spirit I do not notice that I have a wrong spirit .

I plan to look into all parts of this parable in the coming days.

My word of testimony is that I was awakened by the Holy Spirit .

Friday, January 22, 2010

Oil In My Lamp

For years the story of the 10 virgins found in Matthew 25 was more than just a story to me.

It was a warning , a red flag that I felt many were missing.

I take everything very seriously so no wonder I'm thinking that having oil in the lamp is a must. I would become impatient at times. Plainly some had no oil. They complained of being worn out while working for the LORD. I would confess my impatience as sin to God and get back into a right spirit and pray for these dear folks. If the joy of the LORD was to be their strength and what we do in our own strength is but dirty rags I had reason to be concerned. However, no reason was good enough that impatience could be considered okay.

Slowly I just stopped worrying about those folks and started concentrating on having my own lamp filled with oil . It seemed like the more I was willing to receive the more the LORD was willing to give.

Just lately I have come to realize the next part of the story. Here refresh your memory and re-read it again.
Matt. 25: 1-13
"Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom.""Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept. And at midnight a cry was heard: ‘Behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!’ Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise answered, saying, ‘No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.’ And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut. Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open to us!’ But he answered and said, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.’ Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming."

I have a true story for you and with it I hope that wisdom will come to me , for as you know it is the wise virgins who have a successful happy ending to their story.

Tonight I was reading a book titled The Happy Intercessor by Beni Johnson. The author told of a person seeing the feet of angels as they walked through a building that he had asked the LORD to bless. Years ago I lived in a trailer out behind a truck stop. A lot of acreage sat there unused . I was fortunate to have this trailer lot. There were no close neighbors. Just a pasture behind me that pastured some horses. I came home from church one night and as I looked outside I saw an angel standing there blessing my home. Now I did not know what people would think if I was to say, "oh, look there's an angel blessing my home. " So I didn't say anything. I just thought , "wow, the LORD sent an angel to bless me." My mom and her husband were staying with me then in a little camp trailer they slept in at night. The next morning my mom's husband comes in to eat breakfast and says he has seen the most unusual sight. "Last night" , he says, " I saw a horse that was glowing. It wasn't just the way the moon was shining on it. It would walk around , and it glowed." I thought for a minute , and then an idea came to me. Maybe the story of Moses' face shining after being in the presence of God would have something to do with this. Perhaps the angel that I had seen the night before had something to do with the horse glowing. I did not know but I had a feeling that angel had not stopped blessing when it left my trailer. I just had a feeling it had walked all over that pasture and blessed the whole property.

Within 6 months an unexpected financial blessing came to me and my children and I was able to buy a 2,500 sq. foot home for me and my children to live in. At just the same time all the property , the truck stop and all around me had sold and I would of had to move regardless. A year later there was a hospital in that pasture , a fire station where my trailer had been. The truck stop was replaced with a nice restaurant and connected with a motel.

But you know the hospital did not stay open. The fire station closed. The restaurant closed. I think the motel is still open . Part of the hospital is being used for out patient stuff. I was just curiously thinking I wonder why the LORD wanted me to know that He had sent an angel to bless that property. And now , He seemed to be showing me that it was losing it's blessing. The purpose for the blessing to be a blessing to more and more people , seems to be dwindling. It seems to be able to bless less and less people all the time.

Is it possible that they did not know how to be wise with the blessing that had been given to them?
Is this also why I seem to be running into times when my blessing is dwindling? Can we be frivolous with a blessing? Just sharing it helter skelter and then not have enough oil for the times when we are to really be used the most? Which brings up a good question? Just how does God view my word of testimony if it is just written on a blog no one reads ? I have been trying harder to give my words of testimony personally . When I was faithfully sharing on the blog , my lamp was filling up pretty good. I think just giving a word of testimony must not be the whole picture. Knowing when to give it and to whom may be those things that wisdom would give me. Only I can not really think how I can know , except I can tell you that after I have shared, I sometimes feel drained and not refreshed at all.

Perhaps a clue would be to learn to know , who is waiting expectantly for the bridegroom to come? Some people enjoy being a Christian for the social life it gives them .And then some see it as serious business and are looking for the LORD's return any day. Perhaps those are the ones I ought to stay in company with .

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Put It On Jesus

My word of testimony today is inspired by the word of testimony of friends.
I attend this Ladies Bible Study Group that meets every other Sunday afternoon. It was during this meeting that I heard testimonies that encouraged me. I mention this because I think those who read my words of testimony should know that they are not fueled simply by what I seek the Holy Spirit to reveal to me from God's Word. The delightful words of testimony that I hear from others is what keeps me fueled.

In hind sight I wish I had asked everyone in the group, "In what ways have you put things on Jesus?"

My word of testimony: I have learned to want to do the will of my Father in heaven will bring me delight. I have learned to do the will of my Father I must first learn how to put it on Jesus. Carry it to Him , because in my joy and delightful thoughts of pleasing the Father I picked it up and tried to do it myself first. Thankfully that does not have to be the end of the story. As I learn how to put it on Jesus , my joy is complete , while I wait at His feet.

Learning not to try to clean myself up first , before I come to Jesus has been the hardest lesson to learn. I want to be better before I go and ask for His help. I shared with the group that when I went to Jesus during an outburst of anger , He then showed me the truth about what I was thinking. When my thoughts changed about certain situations , those particular events did not provoke anger in me like it had in the past.

This is an ongoing process but sharing this word of testimony encourages me to continue living in God's presence and not take a temporary leave of absence when my emotions seem negative.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Show Me Your Glory

Years ago I was pleasantly surprised when my oldest daughter told me this short story. She was in the middle of a trying time. People were doing things that it seemed had no other purpose but to harm her and hinder her happiness. Yet when she was discussing the events with a friend she said, "I know all things work together for good, so I know eventually some good thing will happen because of these events." As the story goes , her friend had no idea what she could be talking about. All things work together for good was not something that person had ever heard. My daughter said, "Mom, I just could not believe that someone would not know this. You had told us this all the time when we were kids and I thought everyone knows this."

It was true, at every time the car broke down, every event that created what my pastor refers to as "abundant life" as he sees life abundantly filled with hills and valleys, I would say, " I know all things work together for good for them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose."

I wish now I had said, "show me Your glory , LORD. Show me Your Glory." However, I was close enough to this new phrase that I do not think it will be hard to help my children see how to make the transition. Especially if they will think about the whole scripture and not just the first part.

When I say to the LORD , "show me Your glory," I am actually requesting that He reveal to me my response to the situation that will bring Him glory. Now glory is something also like a light to me. A small birthday candle lit will bring a little light into a dark room. The larger the candle the brighter the light. When I am asking for Him to show me His glory, I am aiming for the biggest brightest light possible. Yet when the day is done and I access how well I lined up with what I felt the Spirit was showing me would bring Him this glory , I feel His joy over any glory , any minute or second that I successfully aimed toward doing His will thus bringing forth His glory .

Peter talked about joy unspeakable and full of glory , and I think I know what he was talking about.

1 Peter 1:6-9
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith; the salvation of your souls.